wish that I could not put off

I asked myself this question many a time in last 68 years.

I wished to write an algorithm step by step execution of the same would end up meeting the creator of my world in person and vanish. I am I and Identity. I am my world - indivisible identity.

I have written many million lines of my travelogue. I have lived many a life from birth to death day after day.

I lived as Buddha. I lived as Mahavira.

I lived as Van Gogue many a time from many angle by many authors. I wrote those heartfelt letters full of feelings to my brother - the only believer of my genius. I cut my ear and present in the brother the person I loved. I willingly lived in asylum. I lived through my death as Vincent Van Gogue.

I lived the life Nietzsche. Stood in the street hugging and consoling a horse recently flogged by its owner. I was admitted in the asylum by my sister who did no longer believed me who can be himself.

I journeyed through the world and life of Anthony Bourdain - ate many a meal with many with of all taste  in all parts of the world till I tasted my death in hanging myself on last June 8th - tasting the heart stopping brain stopping and my fingers toes limbs ticking to stop.

Living through so many lives, tasting and passing through every walks of life I finally met me ~ the creator.

Is there any other way to meet me - a short cut?

Why I write what I write?

It is an algorithm that works and provides result unfailingly. It is not hypothetical or simulation in closed door or in the forest or on the top of mountain or in a temple of God. Algorithm works living one life through the pleasures and pains from life consuming inevitable without denying without faulting or punishing oneself.

Is there any other way to meet my world's creator? I cannot know I do not know. This one works. Machine halts, the search ends with face to face with the creator.

My story is open book. free. unpatented. no intellectual property right.

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