Dharma: Creator

I have heard so many sounds in so many languages. I have read so many life long obsessions of men of letters. I read the sounds of music of their wandering life. I inexhaustibly read voraciously whatever I came across. I needed to experience whatever another person experienced. If they found a creator of theirs. I too shall find mine. I did not know what I was searching. I know now the truth.

The creator of me who did not change. I would not know where it came from. Where would after the creation is complete. When everything sensible created ends. I was obsessed with organic cells that receives light and is able to differentiate and create color in my perception. I asked red is really red? Is it universal? The answer to this question is unknowable for me. The creator created those sense cell for me and fooling me ever since. Whenever I am with children those who meaningfully do not converse. I was their attention and what they attending and what they are trying to convey to me.

Then I fall asleep. They sometime come to fetch me but do not disturb. I sleep about throughout day and night. Except for couple of hours I spend with them. I watch films but do not follow any conversation. I watch. I make my own story.

No story is attractive any more worth knowing.

But I was searching. I searched women to marry and live life time. Then I gave the search. I searched for creator of me instead and my world. I knew intuitively all outside is divine but not divinity thyself. I had to respect me as nobody else in the world I know.

More than Buddha and all other Buddhas.

No book reading could set me on this path of discovering my God.

I was constantly reminded about fascinating search for God by Dhruva. I didn't even know the meaning of God or truth. Truth I learnt at university. False too I learnt from mathematics.

I learnt existence of both truth and creator meaning same and absent in present and container of False yet divine.

The divinity exist and pointed by all divine.

Divine is the reflector reflecting the one and same divinity. That cannot be otherwise by truth. The timeless birthless deathless absolute.

It is indeed miracle indeed that how beauty music taste excitement is created to perceive infinite variety of joy from watching.

What a splendid bluff the creation is. what a life time of watching joy and joy only. soundless wordless no response from That. That creates without my knowledge sensors. Sends invisibly message to sensor. Sensor reflects the message 'joy of watching' back to no other but That.

Mission accomplished. zero - cycle - 0 - nothing yet something - waves of joy every moment of life.

All begins in me - all lives in me - all ends in me - all is me

I cannot change.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I hate losing

Being an intelligent person, I cannot accept losing. I also understand anybody or everybody when he or she burst out when comes across loss. It is about impossible for anyone to accept loss as loss and do nothing to make up for the loss. One suffers many years trying to recover loss - me included. Being intelligent is a loss of innocence. To recover innocence is many decades struggle. The struggle does not end with innocence but something else. Memory just does not disappear. Essential characteristics of an individual is kept in safe memory that is not part of body. It is inner mind and creator. creator builds a new world using that. Yagnavalkya's riddle refers to the same. He asked this question to all, know-er of Brahman regarding immortality of Antaman or inner mind. How come a man is reborn again after death? Man is not a tree, that it comes back to life again after it cut down from its root. Human body is burnt and destroyed after death. How then one is reborn? Where is h...
Read more

Ritadi

Sometime in my bstat i came to know her when she shifted to campus. She used to participate in chess, we used to play in a group in boys hostel or rs hostel. V V menon and Ramakrishna were top players. They used to defeat us handsomely. Our performance improved. We used to play for many hours. Tapanda we did not care much. He was never part of us. Ritadi belong to many generation of ISI batches. She was smiling and was generally liked by most. She was my brothers classmate.  Another of his classmate Kunjooni took lot of fascination in me in my first year. He used to take me out. One day when I was waiting in TT room for a game, he came to fetch me. I wished to play a game. He asked me come to rs hostel where an old TT board was set up recently. We started to play. Chari and few others joined. CRRao walked in and asked Kunjooni what was his class. Then he asked why you are playing with a BSTAT boy? Kunjooni came to me and apologised and left, despite called by Chari to finish ...
Read more

June 8th

My world revolves around June 8th. I was born in 1950 June First. Exactly 6 years earlier my brother Kamal was born on 8th June. Both of us born on Thursday. On 7th June 2012 when Kamal I called him Chhorda died after completing 68 years. I am 68+ today. On 1988, 8th June we, Chhorda me and two of his Bridge friends were waiting room outside operation theater for my son to be born. We did not his sex. It was great storm outside. I never witnessed such a storm in my life. Name of the nursing home was EveLand Nursing Home. We waited and waited. At 12:10 AM on 9th Soham was born. But he remained critical for 11 more days. On Seventh June of 2012 I was woken up from sleep by phone call from Chhoton that Chhorda has died. I never expected such a outcome. Then for many hours I remained awake being told the struggling doctors trying to revive him. The worst experience of my life. I am for last few days seeing TV serial Parts Unknown of Anthony Bourdain. I shall be re-seeing the sam...
Read more